This is a difficult goal, so I commend you for doing it.  I think the biggest thing I've come to realize about forgiveness is that while it benefits the person you forgive, you are the person who will reap the most from it.  It's a very freeing step on the path toward healing. I know I sound a bit like a Hallmark card, but  I have found that when I;ve truly decided to forgive someone and let go of the hurt they caused me, I feel so much "lighter". All the best to you!

 She may not accept your forgiveness, but giving it allows you to move forward.  You are doing the right thing, but I would say this is your goal, not hers, so figure out what accomplishing this goal looks like for you and you alone.

I'm running in the Boston Marathon this year, perhaps you would like to follow me in this goal.  I would like to follow you as you go through your journey with your mom.

here is my public profile on Life list

http://mylifelist.org/members/PublicProfile.aspx?PID=946

Mothers. They are so capable of making our lives beautiful and horrible. I'm with Princess, it's definitely a benefit to you, because we can't change another soul on this earth, we can only change ourselves and our own perspective. I hope you find steps to take you to fruition on this one.

I could definitely at times use some practical tips on forgiveness. No one intends to be a bitter grudge-holder but when you're in a position time and again to have to carry someone else's bag of emotional rocks, it does get a bit trying.

I respect your intention and hope you find peace in your interactions. Sometimes I guess the best thing is to find the path of least resistance if it gives way to peace. I'm told peace leads to some degree of understanding, which will at least make your relationship easier. Good luck!

I spoke with my mom last night. We had a HUGE fight in mid September and I have not seen her since. I realized that I have to let go of my anger. I don't know if she is truley unable to deal with her own mistakes. Maybe it's too hard for her. Whatever the rason, I am the one in the position to decide if I want to hang on to the saddness or be free of it. Freeing myself doen not mean I have to have no relationship with her. It means I have let her be who she is while being who I am. I am praying about this and I feel much better today. But... One day at a time!

I know what you mean about this. Anger is a fascinating emotion. I think sometimes we choose anger because it keeps us strong, and the alternative is sadness, which is scary. Letting go of anger, staying aware of when it grows and ebbs, those are really powerful decisions. Having a relationship with someone who makes you really mad is a trust issue, because if you weren't hurt, you wouldn't be mad. I hope you can let go of whatever has caused you pain. I'm still working on this, too.

I'd like to believe parents all do their best given their circumstances, and we all come to a point where we can look back and blame, or be grateful for what benefits we got from our parents, leave the rest and take responsibility for our future. You're a big-hearted person to be able to rise above, and I know you will feel better not being in conflict.

As a mother and a daughter, I have known the experiences of conflict with my own mother and my own daughter. Either way, it can be difficult because I am very emotionally driven. With great support , new found knowledge,and a strong faith restored, I have been able to forgive and resolve to move quietly forward. For me, it has involved removing my expectations and just honoring each of them for who they are/were. My mom has passed now but I can think, peacefully, about her and recall many good memories. Good luck with this difficult work you face.Facing it seems like the beginning of good times to come. Peace.

I saw my mom today for the first time since our big fight! She surprised me at my office and I have to say I was happy to see her. We talked about random things (not about the fight) and I am beginning to realize that I have a very poor outlook on so many things! My life can be wonderful and these bad childhood experience can become positive strong points in my life today! Wish me luck on trying to look at things in a better more positive way!  More to come! :)