This is such a fantastic goal.  I really need to adopt it too.  I have four at home and my husband and I both work from home.  Sometimes when they all come in off the bus, that 3:15 time is really REALLY noisy.  It seems the louder they are, the louder I respond and then the louder they get.  Pretty soon, the volume is just over the top and hubby's not a happy guy. How is this goal coming along for you so far.  What have you been doing that seems to be working?

I find this book

http://www.amazon.com/Fair-Jeremy-Spencers-Parents-Night/dp/0374524734

has been a helpful resource for me.  I've only got 2 kids and my husband & I both work full time.  We'd love it if once were all home, there was just love and happiness, but that's just not reality.  

It's certainly still not near perfect, but it takes time, and mostly it takes patience.  I wish I had more ~ much more than I do.  Andrea, you're right ~ yelling just leads to more yelling, and that's good for no one. 

Good luck, and definitely let us know if you find something that works well that you can share!

I got away from the whole yelling thing, and miraculously, what I've found is how powerful the quiet response is. Instead of hot temper, my daughter is learning to respond quietly (though as she goes through certain phases or experiences, she still flashes up). What I do is walk away. Nope, I can't talk to you about this now, because you can't hear me when you're yelling. She takes a breather and comes back with an "I'm sorry" when she's ready to really communicate.

When MAMA is really mad, well, I have learned to take a timeout. I say in my calmest voice, "Yelling at you now is not going to help us fix this." I explain I need a breather so I can get my composure back. Maybe it would help with younger kids to create a signal, a word that means stop right now or I'm going to lose my mind. LOL. With mine, she can pretty much tell when she's gone too far and I'm not pleased. There is such a lovely difference between 7 and 8 years old, as far as social skills and understanding right and wrong go. I said to her last time she was really ramping up, "Does it feel good to pick a fight? Do you mean to make this a big issue?" And she stopped and actually thought about it and came up with no. So I'm slowly winning this one. Keep working on it! It will come.