Sounds like a great one for the Challenge. :) It seems like the kind of thing that could reap rewards far into the future. Go Jamie!

Last night I wasn't able to do anything.  My husband went to visit his ailing grandmother in the nursing home.  I did try to focus a litlte bit on her when we all played together...  I thought it went splendidly until right before bed she had a huge tantrum about nothing special.

Tonight I'm making an extra effort to giver her undivided attention.  I think I'd either likely to play Hi-Ho Cherrio or color with her.

Jamie - this is such a great goal and so important to have that one on one time together. some other ideas would be reading a book together, or acting out a story. maybe making a craft...a card for the ailing grandmother that your husband can bring to the hospital. It does not have to be anything big...it may be putting glow in the dark stars on her ceiling and cuddling under the stars. Enjoy the time and know that it will be something that you will be grateful that you did it.

Last night we played Hi-Ho Cherry-o.  She won twice.  10 minutes doesn't feel like much, and, as I suspected, she wanted to keep getting the undivided attention.  When we went to the living room to hang out with the hubby and son, she wanted me to play barbies with her.  So, I tried to juggle playing with both of them while my husband did some cooking for the week.

Her attitude/actions were a little better.  She had one big meltdown before bed. It's not the things that she gets upset with that bother me but rather the way in which she expresses it...  talking back, talking down, hands on hips, yelling, kicking, screaming, etc.  ugh.  Maybe we'll see an improvement in time.  I'm hoping before she turns 4.

Thanks for the ideas, Heather.  I think making a card for Grandma is a great idea!!

Hey, sounds like that's a little taste of success and a good start. I love the making a card for Grandma idea too.

Last night went okay...  I had the children alone (completely forgot about making a card!) so we went to her bedroom.  She let her little brother do what he pleased since she'd have mommy all to herself.  I read her a couple books.

Well, when Daddy got home, he wanted to play dominos with her.  Our son isn't old enough and was going to make it frustrating for everyone so I went to keep him occupied in the other room.  She told my husband that she didn't want to play with him, she wanted to play with me.  She then proceeded to tell him that she didn't like him.  :o(  Anyway, the evening went downhill from there. 

I think part of the problem is that she asks my husband to watch a movie when she gets home.  Since he needs to get cooking, he turns on the tube and leaves them to get their brains sucked out by the tv.  Anyway, so then she's a bear to try to pull away from the tv after that.

At any rate, I still did what I set out to do.  I wish I could see immediate improvements in her behavior.

Hi Jamie, I'm just catching onto your conversation and was wondering if the timing had anything to do with the crankiness?  For us, that time from when the kids come home until bedtime is really busy and from what I read, her tantrums seem to happen at bedtime.  Is it possible that she's overtired or overstimulated?  Those things always affect my kids - even the 8 and 10 year olds.  Do you follow a specific routine in the eveings?  

Andrea, you could have a point. Today was a great day. My daughter had a great day. We ran out of time today to give her DEDICATED time. BUT when I put her to bed tonight, I stayed in there to read some books with her - just her and me all singled in her bed. It was sweet. I enjoyed t and I hope she did too.

Sounds snuggly, comfy and warm. I'm so happy to read that you all had such a great day. I'm sure your daughter absolutely loved the time she spent with you tonight.  Reading together before bed is part of our evening routine over here too.  I'll share something that seems to have helped us over the years.  I have four kids and as I mentioned, evening time is really busy and lately, I've had to manage getting them all bathed and to bed on my own.  Once dinner is done, we try to start the 'calming down process.'  The TV gets turned down, all electronic devices are turned off, and even voices are to be closer to a whisper.  Up in bed,  my eldest reads with one of my twins, my middle child reads to himself and I read with one of my other twins each night.  Once all the reading is done, I visit them each to tuck them in and tell them that I'm the luckiest mom because out of all the little (insert name) in the world, I got the best one.  So each night they go to bed feeling special and they get a few private moments to themselves. Those few minutes make such a significant difference - but you already know that because you've made it your goal here and that's fantastic.  Even though their ages are spread out over nearly three and a half years, reading time is 7:30.  My older two can read in their beds once they've been tucked in for a bit.  I've found that the later I put them to bed, the earlier they rise and then the whole family suffers because of the crankiness.  Since we've worked out this routine, things have gone a lot smoother.  By no means, perfectly, but certainly, more manageble.  

glad that you and your daughter got to have snuggles together...those are always great moments. Keep your spirits up and know that those 20 min a day can be when u first wake up, or when she is heading off to bed. She will appreciate it no matter when it is! Enjoy all of those moments!

Tonght I took my daughter to her first movie, The Muppets. She did great and loved it. When she got home, daddy wantedto play dominos with her, as my youngest needed some mommy time too. It was a great evening.

Yay! Glad to hear it! I loved The Muppets too. ^_^

First Movie?!  Absolutely a milestone. How was the Muppets?  Was it worth going?

 Dealing with kids can be a challenge, that's for sure. Your daughter is so lucky that you're trying this method with her and that you're not just thyrowing in the towel.

Good for you and good luck!!

Mondays are kind of a busy night to organize something... She has dance class until 7. So, I snuggled in bed with her, telling stories before she went to sleep.

i love the snuggles! Now...I am an "aunt" to many...no kids of my own, but bedtime is such a great way to connect/re-connect with kids. I hope that you are enjoying this adventure as much as your daughter is! Looking forward to the progress.

Tonight we played Chutes and Ladders. It was her first time playing it. She said she likes hi Ho Cherry-o better. Good to know... :-)

A favourite game over here too. Candyland was another one they seemed to enjoy.  So nice that you're trying different things too.

Jamie, I love this goal. As the mom of an only daughter, I can tell you, the more you focus on them, the more they come to rely on that time. As she gets older, your daughter will appreciate any time spent, and she will be more likely to tell you all the insults and injuries of 3rd grade. :) Setting up good communication, especially with more than one child to focus on, is always worthwhile. You're doing all the right things and building a unique relationship that honors who she is. At 3, the goal is just to be calm and consistent with your rules till she stops challenging everything. There are many developmental stages... this is definitely one of the hard ones. Hang in there! You're doing great.

Well, tonight was daddy's turn so they played dominos. So, I spent some time playing cars with my youngest. I did play with balloons with both of them - that was a lot of fun. Thanks for the encouraging words, Shea. 3 isn't easy. And it's not the tantrums, per se, it's the challenging/defiance. We'll get there...

glad that you are all enjoying this time together, and it sounds as though you are doing some fun activities! Keep smiling!

Even the challenges and defiance has it's purpose.  Hang in there.  She's learning to question and assert herself.  Those skills will come in handy later on and you'll be so proud of her when she stands up for someone being bullied at school or goes back to the teacher to get the extra mark on the test that he or she missed.  It's tough right now though.  You're doing all the right things though. That time spent is invaluable.

 Good for you for sticking with it. You sound like such a loving mother.

Glad to see this time is becoming a habit. And it sounds like whatever her behavior might be like right now, you're all having fun during a lot of those moments. I really like that you're playing board games and doing physical stuff, too. Hang in there and enjoy yourself as much as you can!

Thanks everyone! Andrea, you are so rigt... My husband and I are a little bit o pushovers so to somehow keep this assertiveness yet keep it in check is a goal. I DO NOT want this little lamb to lose her spirit by rather know when best to use it. Tonight our evening was weird. We found out our son has a boil on his bottom. So to igut while my husks and was visiting his ailing grandmother I too care of the kids. When my son was done, we went in my daugger's room to play. It was fun. I combed every Barbie's hair.

Ouch!!  Boil on your little guys' tushy?  That must be painful.  Poor guy.  I hope it's not something that the doc had to lance.  Is everything ok now?  

how is your son doing? And how is the special time with your daughter coming along? R u having fun and enjoying your time together?!? I am sure that your efforts are being well received! hope all is well!

Jamie, I thought of you last night, and realized that needing time alone doesn't really change as the children get older. My daughter was taking a bubble bath (something she can totally do independently), but she asked me to come in with her and chat. She blew bubbles and did magic tricks, it was so cute. She was happy and relaxed, which is always nice after a long, cold Monday. Then as I do every night, I rested with her at bedtime for 15 minutes, reading to her. (Well, she read to me for a bit and then she got tired so we switched.) One of my favorite things is that we're reading one of my favorite series from my own childhood, Trixie Belden. She was way more awesome to me than Nancy Drew. :) My daughter is enjoying them so much, we can't put them down and I get to re-read my favorite. Great motivation for spending restful time together. So keep going, you have a lot of wonderful times ahead! 

 Hope your little guy is doing ok Jamie and that you're still thinking up new and fun ways to engage with your kids.  Every minute spent is time invested wisely.  Shea, I'll have to look into some Trixie Belden for Nina.  I've never heard of that series.  

Jamie...I hope that things are going well on your end. Enjoy the time with your daughter!

Shea...I am totally going to have to check out the Trixie Belden series...I have never heard of it, but think that I will enjoy it :).

 Just checking in for an update Jamie.  Hope all is going well and that your little guy is doing fine too.  Happy reading and game playing. :-)

Hi everyone!!! Thanks for the follow-ups. I have been MIA in a new job. Anyway, my sob is doing better. The boil is almost gone. What an ordeal!!!! My daughter is doing pretty good. She has been testing the limits lately. Iv been reading a book by Dr. leman called" Bringing kids up without tearing them down." it's a good book and talks about REALITY DISCIPLINE. I'm having a hard time in application though. What's reality discipline for a child who has to be told 5 times to quit running in th house? Her attitude, however, has been great. Shes just testing is all. We have been akin turns with her. Last night, I read a Couple books to her. It amazes me, at 3, how many words she can read... Now, maybe she is just associating the word with the pics but still. Anyway, the hubby took her to visit gma two nights ago. We are doing pretty good with keeping up with this every night, so out of all my 21 day goals, this one is the most rewarding and meaningful.

Jamie, congratulations on your new job. So glad you are getting so much out of this, and your family too.

so glad that u are enjoying this goal with special time with your daughter...so important. And it will all come together whe it comes to pushing limits...she will come to understand what is right/wrong along the way! Enjoy every moment!

 Testing is just their job and it sounds like your little angel is doing her job beautifully.  You sound like you have a tonne of patience Jamie, which is awesome.  Something every parent needs a healthy dose of.  I have a healthy dose and sometimes, it's still not enough.  Just keep reminding her of the rule about running.  If she's anything like my kids, she'll keep it up until she falls and bumps her chin on the floor (hopefully, without biting through her tongue).  It took those kinds of incidents to happen before my boys made the connection between the rule and the reasoning.  My youngest (the twins) are seven now. There is very little running through the house.  I wish I could say the same for their yelling at times though.  It also sounds like she's learning so much from her time with you.  You must be so proud of her.  Very happy to read that your little guy is doing better.  What are the principles outlined in 'Reality Discipline?"  I'm very curious.

 Sharing an inspirational quote today.  Best to you.

To live is to choose. But to choose well, you must know who you are and what you stand for, where you want to go and why you want to get there."

- Kofi Annan

hi Jamie - I hope that you are starting to get back into the work life balance, and that your time spent with the family, and in particular, your daughter is filled with quality time, and includes happiness and joy! Wishing you all the best!