Why were you inspired to do this?
I wasn't as much *inspired* to be in a long-distance relationship as I was compelled -- although the divide between us geographically was wide, the distance between us emotionally barely registered. I'd found someone who spoke my language, who believed in equal measure and with the same intensity what I'd always believed: Those who seek extraordinary lives get extraordinary relationships. We shared so much in common, I couldn't help but love him, almost at first sight -- there was a storm cloud above our heads the first time we met. After a meeting like that, a universe between us couldn't keep me from falling. And once you're in giddy, crazy, do-anything-for-you love, you make it work.
What were 3 things you did to make this happen?
I had to keep faith in myself and in our relationship, even when it got complicated and felt distant: I knew I was loved and that I loved in return with equal intensity and good intentions.
I had to communicate fearlessly and listen attentively to stay in tune with my relationship -- to hear not only what was said but what was sometimes not said, to put in context what was happening 3,000 miles away, and to give time a chance to make what we'd already built even more powerful without letting discomfort or insecurity erode what we had together.
I had to be prepared to work at it, to meet in the middle both emotionally and geographically. I was willing to risk my heart to leap beyond what people say is a difficult hurdle -- to be in a new love and try to overcome distance. I kept my expectations low, but felt surprised and elated when our communication evolved easily.
How did you feel once you had accomplished this?
I barely remember now the agonizing time we spent apart, a fact for which I'm very grateful. I know I felt so lonely at times -- even when my life was full of other people -- because there's just no else like him. After a visit, there were ghost spots in my house for a few days where it seemed he'd just stood until I could get back into my own rhythm. Having been apart, I appreciate so much the life events we share easily now. It's like he was always here. I could never have anticipated the happiness of finding a soul mate. How lucky am I? (I know you don't believe in luck... but I do!)
Additional notes and tips:
I never thought falling in love could qualify as a life-list goal, until I realized how many people have it on their lists. It's definitely life changing to meet someone who makes you feel appreciated and understood and challenged by. I can't say there are actual steps to meeting someone -- but the falling in love part and the distance can only be improved by good communication. So learn how to say what you mean and what you need, and be prepared to give back in equal measure.
