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Accept that being on my own will be ok
Relationships: Love

Why were you inspired to do this?

--Before you can truly love someone else, you must learn to love yourself first...

What were 3 things you did to make this happen?

End things and know that it will all be ok...

How did you feel once you had accomplished this?

Letting go.

Additional notes and tips:

 It was hard at first to accept that a relationship that's lasted so long has now ended. But I've also come to terms with that if I really do love him then I should be happy that both of us are doing what we want. If he is happy doing something else or being with someone else then I should accept that and want the best for them. We've grown as individuals together and learned a lot from one another. Moments and memories will always be a part of my life from our relationship, I will never forget them...


6/27/2011 12:53:01 PM

I love what Shea has left for you and must agree as well.  It is tough to make a clean break, but looking back on my own heartaches, it was exactly what I needed to do.  I was hurting too much to act like everything was fine.  It took about a year before I could be friends again.  A bit of time has passed now.  How are you feeling these days?

6/27/2011 12:50:48 PM

 Came across this article that might help a little.  

http://www.how-to-self.com/move-on-let-go/

6/6/2011 5:53:53 PM

It is hard to cut it off completely, even after you realize that being with him makes you feel bad. You are not stupid. Sometimes it just takes a while. The photo you posted is so beautiful and right. You might feel a little broken at first, but the glue does work. Focus on all those positive adventures (and post them on the site as you go so we can cheer you on) and soon you will be able to see how much you grew, and you'll be proud of how you figured out the right thing to do for yourself.

4/10/2011 7:47:27 PM

Well..my ex and I were hang out a few times since breaking up (my stupidity). I had missed him and I was hopeful of things changing but that wasn't the case. It only lead me to become more hurt. I know now that I truly need to be on my own and really not give into wanting to speak with him or hear from him. I need to follow my own words of wisdom. I have been trying to say yes to every adventure and just enjoy things more though!! I appreciate everyones advice :)

4/7/2011 3:10:16 PM

Hi Tori, hope you're doing OK and that you've had some time to heal since you posted. This is such a hard thing to go through, I feel for you. Your own advice is the best, though, so it seems your strength and wisdom are already in line with the decision you made. The future has a way of turning corners and showing you glimpses of where you're going that will help you along the way. Stay hopeful and say yes to every adventure you can.

3/23/2011 4:31:12 PM

Congratulations on taking this significant step. I understand completely how terribly difficult it is to do this. Pat yourself on the back and hold your chin up as you move forward because now you can begin to heal. What are some of the things that you've always wanted to do that maybe you've put on the back burner? This is the perfect time to dive right into one of those projects or to develop that hobby you've always thought about. I hope you'll let us know.

Why do you want to do this?

--Before you can truly love someone else, you must learn to love yourself first...

What three things will you need to make this happen?

End things and know that it will all be ok...

What is the biggest barrier to your achieving this?

Letting go.

3/2/2011 12:22:39 PM

Being on your own for a time is great!  This is a commendable goal and think of all the freedom that is yours right now (or once you decide to let go, that is).  Once you've done that, it's the perfect time to reinvent yourself.  You can be excited about the next chapter!  You can take up a new hobby, travel, focus on debt reduction, learn a new language, read a bunch of books on topics that have always interested you, learn a new skill or sport, spend a tonne of time getting totally physically fit, cutlivate new frienships and nurture the old ones.  Spend some quality time with loved ones.  These are all the things I'd love to do if I had the untethered time to do them in.  It's a spectacular time for you!  

"Twenty years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones that you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Please update us on your journey.  It's going to be awesome!

 

3/23/2011 12:05:38 PM

  So..being on my own has been quite interesting. At times I feel sad but I am enjoying my freedom. I've been going to the gym everyday and taking my dog for walks everyday. I've been hanging out with friends and enjoying not having to worry about calling someone or making sure I had time in my day to go see my boyfriend. I am exremely excited for the next chapter in my life. I am focusing like you had said on debt reduction and starting on swimming again. I really enjoyed the quote you had posted as well! 

3/23/2011 4:59:54 PM

I'm so happy to read your update Torimarie!!  This is fantastic news.  I just left you another comment on my page about some resources I think might help you at this time. Congratulations again.  That quote is one of my favourites.  It sounds like you've got a whole bunch of new projects on your plate to work on and you'll see, as time passes, it will get easier.  When you have a few minutes, maybe read the story I shared about how I found my partner.  I did some interesting exercises when I was coming out of my third long-term relationship.  Let me know your thoughts and keep up the fantastic work.  It's going to be awesome!!

3/30/2011 10:21:40 PM

How are you doing Torimarie?  I just came back to see if you'd updated us here at all. I hope things are going well with you.  What are you doing at the gym that you like best?   I came across another quote today and thought of you.  It's by Charles Swindoll about attitude:

'Attitude to me, is more important facts.  It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearances, giftedness or skill... The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We can not change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing that we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.  I am convinced that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it... we are in charge of our attitudes.'  

Hope you are having a great day.

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